The intimacy of answering the phone “Hey you.” The intimacy of stopping to wait when someone needs to tie their shoe. The intimacy of knowing when someone’s voice is thick with worry or sleep.
The intimacy of singing (badly) with someone in the car. The intimacy of huddling together under a shelter/umbrella.
The intimacy of instantly recognising someone’s handwriting. The intimacy of trying to make plans and, “Oh no we can’t, you’re working that day.” The intimacy of matching your pace to theirs as you walk.
The intimacy of being there for someone as they cry. The intimacy of “How did you know that?” “Because I know you.”
The intimacy of feeling someone’s warmth through their clothes when you hug.
The intimacy of being given change that’s warm from the heat of someone else’s hand.
The intimacy of shared, comfortable silence. The intimacy of knowing how someone would react.
The intimacy of keeping the radio off when someone falls asleep on a long car journey.
The intimacy of sharing one earbud each. The intimacy of noticing someone’s nervous habits. The intimacy of “I had a dream about you.” The intimacy of inside jokes. The intimacy of feeding someone food as they drive (or really any other time).
The intimacy of knowing just how someone likes their tea/coffee.
The intimacy of trying something new together and having no idea what you’re doing; the shared hesitancy. The intimacy of someone saying “Text me when you’re home safe.” The intimacy of someone falling asleep next to you. On your shoulder. In your company.
The intimacy of sharing secrets in the nighttime, because 3am will never tell.
The intimacy of someone’s pet recognising you and coming over to say hello. The intimacy of “This made me think of you.” The intimacy of borrowing a jacket still warm from their body heat. The intimacy of seeing someone’s unfocused eyes when they first wake up.
The intimacy of ordering food and “shall we share it?” The intimacy of someone sharing the meaning behind their tattoos. The intimacy of just looking at someone and dissolving into laughter together.
I wish more people…cis and trans…understood that transitioning and passing is just not possible for a lot of us and never will be. I’m so tired of the trans narrative being focused on this supposedly universal experience.
I’m extremely disabled. I will probably never be able to transition in any capacity. I am dependent on my bigoted family and on a bigoted medical system to survive. HRT could hurt my body very badly and I cannot bind because of chronic chest pain. I cannot have top surgery for those same reasons.
There’s so much more to being a man, woman, non-binary than how you can present yourself. And a lot of us are trying desperately to come to terms with that. With the idea of being closeted forever or just straight up trying to navigate our own identies among other trans people more privileged than us.
[everyone can reblog but don’t clown on this post, no t*rfs, no tr*sc*m]
👏 HUGE HUGE HUGE AGREE 👏
It’s so fucking frustrating. And frankly I’m getting pissed off because tucking and binding are dangerous! I get so worried, especially with trans youth who could really hurt themselves 😰 being told you HAVE to conform to this presentation or you aren’t trans, pushing it as the ONLY way to feel better if you’re dysphoric is not safe! It’s not helpful!
okay everyone
somehow people missed this.
cis people, any kind of ‘I’m cis but….’ or ‘I don’t understand but…’ comments are completely unasked for, you can reblog posts without adding commentary.
more pressing though, this post is absolutely not the place to goof around and act cutesy. your voice is not needed here. please learn how to listen to and boost trans voices by themselves.
I am talking about disability and the health and safety of real goddamn people, do not infantilize my words.
[first image description: a comment by sensualclowns that reads: YES!!! I see so many people getting upset when trans people (fictional or otherwise) are depicted as not fully transitioned, or not binding/tucking etc etc, and people say “ugh don’t draw them like that it makes me dysphoric”. well, if other trans people existing outside of your trans experience makes you dysphoric, maybe you should look at WHY that is?? and work on it??? as a personal issue???? I’m so glad someone pointed out how shitty it is to expect all trans people to alter their body.“ end first image description]
[second image description: a screenshot of the original post, showing the part of the post saying [everyone can reblog but don’t clown on this post]. end second image description]
Not being able to transition or pass doesn’t make you less trans
